This message is for someone who finds themselves unable to move forward in life. Someone who wants dearly to improve, but no matter how hard they've tried in the past, they've always failed. Someone who can't seem to create sustainable change. This is for the victim state of mind.
Doesn't matter if you're someone who's been successful, or is successful, there's been a time where we've all experienced being a victim. For me, the victim mindset still looms in the areas of women, sex, money, and career. Other areas, like physical health, fitness, and substance use, not so much anymore.
As a victim, it's difficult to see success. We come to know ourselves as unable to achieve results. We may know it's possible theoretically. Personally, though, we subconsciously believe it is not possible.
We have a history of either failing to succeed, telling ourselves we'll fail, or both. In any case, we expect to fail and thus have given up trying at all.
What's sad, and defeating, is when it gets to a point where we have lost all faith and confidence in ourselves. The point where we've given up. The point where we've tried so many times, and failed so many times, that we come to believe "it's just not possible for me."
Nobody wants to admit that they believe this - even if they know it's not true conceptually. Emotionally, psychologically, and spiritually...it holds true even though it's false.
The beautiful part, which is also the challenging part, is that in order to go from victim to victor, a whole transformation must take place. The difficult part is that it will require the part of us that refuses to experience failure and rejection to do just that - experience failure and rejection.
What we fear most we must be willing to face. And beyond facing the fear, we must overcome it entirely.
Here's the "truth": There is no secret answer. There is no missing link. And there is no right time to be ready.
Nobody can help those of us in the victim state of mind. Nobody.
Cause it's not help that we need.
It's something else that we've forgotten that we need. Something we've lost touch with entirely.
It's the part of us that has our own back. The part of us that will support our own self no matter what happens. The part of us that will have our own back even when we need to cry. The part of us that will have our own back even when we fail miserable and are rejected on deep levels.
The part of us that we can trust to be there no matter what happens. The part of us that we can depend on if shit goes down and we become homeless, alone, and nowhere to go.
The victim gets lost in thought. So lost that victim forgets it is the victor. It is sad.
It would be like a mighty lion that convinced itself it is actually a sheep. The lion has become completely lost in a lie. But it doesn't know it is a lie. And it doesn't know that it is the one who continues to believe in the lie.
The might lion believes that it is a sheep and holds that as truth. What a mistake indeed.
And so, to you who is reading this and is lost in a lie, I have no answers for you and no call to action. There is nothing I can do on this end to get you moving and believing in yourself.
That is your job. You may never get out of it. That's the risk. And it's a real possibility.
You'll have to be willing to acknowledge that you created a lie and now believe it is true.
Do you hear me? You believe in a lie. I believe in a lie. We all believe in lies. Lies that keep us dormant to the true power we hold.
Holy shit is right.
