I'm just going to write straight from the hip and not care about being politically correct or too explanatory.
So, straight up, having more self-belief is more about a stripping away of the beliefs that create doubt. The reality is that there is a bundle of illusions we keep alive in our minds that simply aren't true. It is these bundle of illusions we must go to work on in order to make space for the confidence and self-belief already within us.
It's not about gaining tools, tricks, and tips to be more confident. Although that can help. What often happens though, is that adding tools to be more confident only covers up the insecurities that are still there underneath.
Identify Your Limiting Beliefs
Try this instead:
Think of all the reasons why you think you are not allowed to be confident.
Maybe it's your height, your race, your age, your money situation.
Maybe it's something you perceive you lack. Not big enough, not pretty enough, not smart enough. No college degree, no parents, no perceived success.
Or maybe it's something you have that you feel makes you unworthy. I am too fat, I am too dark, I am too short, I am too awkward, I am too nice.
Whatever it is, identify some of them.
Once you identify some self-doubting beliefs, ask yourself this "how long will I use these reasons to keep me powerless and unconfident?"
For the rest of the day, and week, and your life really, keep this question in mind and see what comes up.
I have no answers for you.
It's Okay To Feel Unworthy and Like You're Not Enough
Let me back up for a second here. It's 100% okay to feel powerless and completely paralyzed by some of these fears you have of yourself and the world. This is not easy stuff I'm asking you to probe into.
My point is this, it is our minds that keep us trapped in self-doubt. More specifically, it is our identity of unworthiness.
Many of us, myself included, get lost in mental narratives that keep us trapped in unworthiness that simply aren't true - but we make them true and keep them alive.
You Are Unconditionally Perfect From Birth
Think about a baby and the way you feel and perceive a baby. You don't judge it. It doesn't need 6 pack abs. It doesn't need a college degree. It doesn't need a six figure income. It doesn't need to be anything other than what it is being in order for you to not just accept it, but to love it whole heartedly.
That baby was once you. Metaphorically speaking, you are still that baby. Meaning, you are still perfect as you are. Nothing else is required.
Problem is, the world, as well as ourselves, no longer perceive the unconditional perfection within us. The world DEFINITELY doesn't. The only person that probably does is your mother or father or significant other, even that is a stretch for most of us.
Take Away Message
So, to have more self-belief and confidence, you must (1) strip away the beliefs that keep you tied to unworthiness and (2) be the one person that sees the unconditional perfection in you.
I'm not saying it's easy per se. I'm not saying won't go back and forth between self-doubt and feeling whole and complete.
I'm saying that we've all gotten lost in denying the beauty and perfection within ourselves, and that it's time to return to the truth:
