I have not been taking care of myself the last several weeks. What I mean by that, is that I have not been eating healthily, sleeping enough, or exercising. On top of that, I've been neglecting both the small and big responsibilities on my plate. I can very clearly see the difference in my life and the lives of others when I am on top of my game and when I am not.
I feel like the CEO of a company who stopped showing up for his employees. Like Lebron if he gave up on his teammates. I've let people down who count on me to show up, and who I've promised I'd show up to be counted on. It's not a good feeling.
Why? Why did I do this? For one, it wasn't my intention. But, with more ownership, I simply shied away from the path I've chosen. The path of taking action, integrity, growth, and moving forward.
For the first time in a while, I played victim. I didn't want to be responsible. I didn't want to grow. Or rather, I resisted and let the resistance win.
This journey is tough, so to speak, and it comes with some ass kickings and hardships. These are not things I'm used to dealing with. I'm used to an easy life filled with comfort and no accountability. As I'm seeing, the weight of my choices in life have more direct impact these days.
People count on me to show up. In some instances they PAY me to show up.
I apologize for breaking my end of the bargain a number of times in the last three weeks. I will transform this. Promise you that.
Thank you for understanding. Your support means a lot to me.
Much love,
GS
