Lately, I've been feeling resistance to my own growth. Isn't that funny?
Not a month ago I was "sick and tired" of not pursuing my dreams. This catalyzed a full on sprint towards my biggest goals. I quit my job, joined a fitness group, and got 4 coaching clients all within a week's time. Momentum was high, as was my eagerness to push and stretch beyond my perceived limitations.
Now, 4 weeks later, I find myself resisting the next level of growth, and I think I know why: I've never grown past this point before.
I'm now on "uncharted territories" in terms of my own personal journey and growth. In the past, I've gotten to this place before. Having some visible abs, but not having abs like I truly want. Of earning some money, but not earning as much as I want yet. The place of seeing some success but not yet at the exact goal I want most.
If there were 100 steps to get to my biggest goals, I have a history of making it to step 15 then stopping. I know what the pain is like, I know what the steps are. However, I've never gone any further. Never. Step 15 is as far as I've ever pushed past my comfort zone - my metaphorical egg shell.
The resistance that I feel is the "pain" of experiencing growth that I've never been through. "What do you MEAN we have to keep exercising and eating healthy?" "What do you MEAN we have to put even more focus and energy into creating an online business?" These are things my identity and mind are subconsciously vomiting behind the scenes. "Let's just...stop and go back."
The identity is that little bitch inside all of us. The one that's too afraid to jump off any metaphorical cliffs that it makes WAY bigger than they actually are. We must move forward despite the identities little bitch attitude.
Break Past Your Shell & Allow Your Growth to Continue
Think of a baby chick in its shell, ready to hatch. It must break through the hard shell that kept it safe for however long it was in there. Yet, it must break free in order to grow into a full, mature chicken. At the same time, it risks the possibility of being killed. Still, despite the risk of death, it breaks through the egg.
The same goes for us. The chick in this case is our soul. The egg in this case is our identity and the perceived limitations/safety nets we surround ourselves with. And beyond that egg, that identity, is the growth we're literally designed to undergo.
As the chick will inevitably become a chicken, we will too inevitably grow to something beautiful, powerful, and capable of much more than what our metaphorical baby chick states can muster.
Your Identity Will Keep You Trapped Unless You Consciously Choose Freedom
If you've ever found yourself going back and forth between massive progress followed by a down spiral, consider that in all the times you decided to go backwards instead of moving forward even further, you reached your "uncharted territory."
To go any further is to risk "death." In this case, it's the death of an identity that keeps you small. Especially if it's an identity that you've identified with for a long time.
For example, I've held the identity (the story of "who I am") of "I'm not enough, I'm insecure, and people think I'm weak" for many years now. Although I've created strategies and ways to mask and compensate for this shitty, disempowering belief, it's nonetheless been one of my fundamental identities.
Now that I'm growing, evolving, and taking more of a stand for myself and my worthiness, I can feel the old identity trying to convince me otherwise. It's emotional suffering and shitty way of talking is just around the corner. It is trying to kill the possibility of being worthy, of being sexy, of being attractive, of being successful.
If I am unable to detach from this identity, especially in moments of resistance to my growth, the identity WILL kill off the possibility of growing. If you look at your own journey, notice how you seemingly sabotage yourself.
For example, you'll go a solid 1-2 months of being really on top of your shit. Then, at some point, you convince yourself that it's either good and you're all done with growing, or that it's too painful to continue on and you'd rather just feel good and comfortable.
Growth stops being inspirational and starts being painful. Isn't that fucking weird? It's normal.
Choose To Be Your Own Biggest Supporter and Inspiration
Resistance to our own evolution is just part of the growth process. Keep moving forward despite your old identity trying to hold you back. We really are our own worst enemy.
Here's something radical: Let's be our own best friend. Let's support our growth. Let's empower ourselves. Let's tell ourselves "we are worth it, and we got this, and we'll succeed."
By default your mind is going to tell you you're shit.
Only by choice will we start to hear something different.
Ball's in our court.
I love you all.
What a life journey, eh?
Sincerely,
Gabriel Santos
