Before I get into this, know that all of this is of my own opinion and experience. The intention of this post is to share my experience and to hopefully leave at least ONE person with the golden nugget that transforms their life.
That said, let me share some things on my resume that give me some credibility on this topic:
- I'm a certified professional Life Coach; meaning, I literally am trained and paid to serve people who are looking to create results in their life. This training took over a year.
- I have over 100+ hours of Life Coaching under my belt.
- I have attended some of the TOP personal development programs in the world; aka Tony Robbins and Landmark Worldwide
- I have over $20,000+ of DEEP inner work and top notch personal development invested in my being
- I've overcome some of my deepest demons and blindspots that have literally helped me create results that I've always wanted but NEVER followed through on.
- Things like writing my first ebook that's currently on Amazon. Running this fantastic blog. Working with 6 BADASS clients as their Life Results coach.
- Not to mention kicking an 8 year addictive relationship to marijuana, and effectively transforming that abusive, escapism type relationship to a relationship to marijuana that now serves me and that I have FULL control over. Yes, that means I still smoke weed (on rare occasion) despite having a history of almost no control. I love weed, plain and simple, and I'm clear that being stoned is no replacement for being responsible for my life and finding true happiness.
That's just a small list of stuff. Just for those that need to hear it. Now, let's get onto the real stuff!
Questions For The Reader
Before I dive into it, let me ask you, "What do YOU think the 1 thing is that prevents people from achieving their dreams?"
Some things that come to mind are:
- fear
- lack of knowledge
- lack of money
- lack of support
- lack of resources
Right? Those are all valid things that COULD be factors that prevent someone from getting where they want to be. Ultimately, however, those are not the things I'm talking about in this article.
From my experience working with clients, as well as my personal life, there are a couple factors that, once revealed, empower a person to go their goals with more confidence and certainty than ever before.
#1 Success Does Not Equal Fulfillment
The first thing is getting CRYSTAL f**king clear that achieving results and being fulfilled in life are two separate things. Meaning, if deep down one feels empty inside, depressed, and self doubting, there's no amount of money, sex, or success that will satisfy the DEEP sense of not being enough. It's not going to happen.
There's a documentary on Netflix called "Happy" in which it explains that we live in a culture that sells the promise of happiness through continued success. The person who created the documentary is the director of movies like Iron Man, The Mask, and a host of popular film titles.
He explains that no matter how much money he earned, and no matter how many material upgrades he made to his life, the gap of emptiness he felt in his soul was never satisfied. It's cause having stuff and achieving results doesn't meet the need called being fulfilled.
Being fulfilled is a product of the moment, it has nothing to do with results. One can be fulfilled before they reach their goal. It is fulfillment that creates the type of joy and wholeness we all yearn on a deep level.
The point is that people tend to think that having their goal achieved will bring them fulfillment - which simply isn't true. Therefore, when people go about achieving their goals, expecting fulfillment at some point and don't get it - they quit. That's what happened to me at least
The truth is that there's no amount of money, sex, or attention I could cultivate that would satisfy the feeling of being deeply insecure and not enough for love.
#2) Lack Of Full Ownership Of The Results
The second thing that prevents people from achieving their dreams is this notion that their dreams are going to magically happen without their own taking part in it.
If we want to lose weight and look good physically, we MUST partake in a lifestyle that creates that reality. I'm not here to make people feel dumb. It's common as hell to let our emotions and negative thoughts take control of us. We let temporary pleasure override long term goals all the time - I am no exception.
But I can't tell you how many times I, or other people I know, have gone about the SAME goal OVER AND OVER AND OVER again, only to stop at the same point and go back. It's quite a silly, childish game we play.
It actually makes me annoyed as hell when people have goals and then take actions that literally go against those goals. Again, I did and do this still. However, my point is that WE (yes this is an "us" thing; like I said I'm not superior to anyone) lose touch with the fact that only WE can make our goals a reality, and it is WE who must be in full control of the results we create.
So here's the formula:
Be Fulfilled Now
+ Be 100% Responsible For Results
= Dream Life.
The Illusion Is That We Can't Be Happy Now
It's easy to let life circumstances be the dictator of our emotional state and well being.
- The bills are past due
- Debt is growing
- We're single & lonely
- And on top of all of this - WE'RE FAT
Seemingly, there's nothing going on to be happy about. This is the mistake we all fall victim to. We let the outside determine the inside. When...really...it's the opposite. The inside determines the outside. Or, if anything, it goes both ways - the inside and outside feed off of each other.
I'll tell you this though, when things outside are not going the way you want, the INSIDE can ALWAYS go the way you'd like it to.
There's a book called "Man's Search For Meaning" by Viktor Frankl. This book is about a man who went through the Holocaust as a slave, and somehow found joy and freedom whilst being enslaved. This is a perfect example of the outside being SHIT and the inside still being in one's control. If a man whose life circumstances can be as close to HELL as possible, can STILL find joy and certainty on the inside, we can all find a way to be responsible for our inner world as well.
A Moment of Compassion & Empathy
It's not necessarily easy being human. I get it. Unfortunately, neither school or our childhood peers will likely instill the type of knowledge, understanding, and resources that will support the growth we'll need in order to flourish in this life. However, as grown adults, it is on us to be fully responsible for the life we live once we're no longer baby birds under our parents' wings.
There is no excuse for why our lives aren't where we want them to be - both spiritually and materially. Excuses are for children. Excuses are for people who want to be victims in life. We are not victims. We are victors.
We are here to make things happen and live life the way we want. And ultimately, to die knowing that LIFE was grand and we are 100% satisfied with our time.
That's all.
PEACE!
Gabriel Santos
